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Moving day favors and the truck rental nobody split
The couch was stuck. Not a little stuck, either. It was wedged at a forty-five degree angle in the stairwell of a third-floor walk-up, with my friend Nate underneath it saying “pivot” over and over like that word had ever helped anyone in the history of furniture.
This was the fourth time I’d helped Nate move in about six years. I’m not complaining about that part. Helping friends move is one of those deeply adult rituals, and I’d honestly feel a little left out if nobody asked me. You show up in old clothes and carry boxes labeled “MISC” that weigh roughly as much as a car battery. At the end, someone orders pizza. That’s the deal. Everybody understands the deal.
What nobody seems to understand is the truck.
The truck is not part of the favor
On that particular move, I’d rented the truck. Nate’s credit card was maxed from the deposit on the new place, so I put it on mine, along with the gas and the little dolly they rent you for an extra fee. All in, it came to about $190. Nate said, “I’ll get you back for that.” I believed him. Then we spent four hours carrying a futon that I’m fairly sure was cursed.
He did not get me back for that. Not for a long time, anyway.
I don’t think he was trying to skip out. I think, in his head, the truck got filed under the general category of “stuff my friends helped with,” right next to my sore back and my Saturday. It all blurred together into one big favor. And favors don’t get repaid in cash. They get repaid in pizza, or in some vague karmic sense of goodwill.
But my Saturday and my $190 aren’t the same kind of thing. One was a gift. I chose to spend the day, and I was happy to do it. The other was a cost that I fronted because the rental counter needed a card and mine worked. It was a loan, even if nobody said the word.
Pizza is a thank-you, not a payment
I’ve thought about this a lot since, probably more than is healthy. Here’s where I’ve ended up. Pizza and beer at the end of a move is a lovely thank-you for labor. It’s not repayment for out-of-pocket costs. Those are two separate ledgers, and I think a lot of moving-day weirdness comes from people mixing them up.
If you’re the one moving, the cleanest thing is to pay for the truck yourself, even if a friend picks it up. Or at least to say clearly at the counter, “I’ll Venmo you for this tonight.” Then actually do it before you fall asleep on a mattress with no sheets.
If you’re the one who fronted the cost, it’s okay to bring it up a few days later, once everyone’s recovered. A light message works fine. Something like:
Hey, hope the new place is coming together. Whenever you get a chance, the truck and gas came to $190. No stress, just wanted to send you the number.
Mention the actual amount and what it was for. People who just moved are buried in boxes and receipts, and a specific number is a lot easier to act on than “that truck thing.”
With Nate, I eventually did send almost exactly that message. He paid me $100 right away and the rest a few weeks later. Honestly, this is the kind of thing a running-balance app like OweMate is made for. Log it the night of the move, while you’re too tired to trust your memory but can still read the receipt, and when the first half comes in the balance just ticks down instead of you trying to remember what’s left.
The friend who always has a truck
There’s another version of this I should mention. Some people actually own a pickup, and they become the official moving vehicle of their entire friend group. My cousin Ray has a Silverado and I think he’s moved half of Columbus at this point.
If that’s your friend, tossing them gas money is the bare minimum, I’d say. Their truck has wear and tear and their tank doesn’t refill itself. Ray never asks, which is exactly why I always slip him $40 when he helps me. The people who never ask are usually the ones who quietly stop offering.
Nate’s moving again in November, by the way. He texted me last week to ask if I was free. I said yes, and then I said he’s renting the truck this time. He sent back a thumbs up and a picture of the futon.
The OweMate blog is written by the people who make OweMate, a simple way to keep track of money between friends and family.